Family,

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EACH AND EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMNED ONE OF YOU?!

I invite a friend to stay the night. I tell you the night before. You get all butthurt about it. I say nothing and really brush it off. I go to work, I come home and mother's home. Alright, that's cool. I missed talked to her anyways, so not a real problem there. I understand that there's a whole issue considering she eats a lot and is inconsiderate about money sometimes, but she's still my mother and I'm going to chill with her.

So I talk, tell dad said friend is coming over. As soon as my sister leaves, I get a looooooooong lecture as to the fact I'm in the wrong to inviting my friend over and this and that and that I should feel bad and blah blah blah whatever. Apparently, as I find out, mom and dad had a fight over it before I came home, hence the reason they weren't talking when I got home.

Mom feels bad and wants to leave because, she took sis and dad to a movie and now they're treating her like shit. So, after hanging out with said friend for a bit, we hang out with mom because hey, she's cool to hang out with sometimes.

Wake up, do the usual get ready for work thing, and not knowing whether or not mom's leaving tonight, I ask if she wants to go to the bus stop and hang with me for a bit, just talk. Nope, she doesn't want to walk with me cause she's not dressed. We'll ignore the fact I ended up crying at the bus stop for that one.

Come home. FIND OUT THAT MEG'S FRIEND IS SLEEPING OVER. Why does this piss me off? Because, sis is supposed to be sleeping over at said friend's house, but apparently it's over here now. If I would've done that, I would've been killed for such a thing.



Fuck you family. I hate you and I'm moving out.

Go me. I managed to piss everyone off and get on everyone's shit lists by having this pissy mood for two days in a row.












This is not going to be a pleasant turnout.

Loser. Liar. Failure. Pathetic. Worthless. Waste of breath. Waste of time. Use and throw away. Despicable. Faithless. Poser. Faker. Heartless. Gives too much compassion. Not enough compassion. Doesn't think. Thinks too much. Failure of society. Failure to her family. Fails at life. Fails at everything. Never worth anything. Will always be alone. Too independant. Too dependant. Too wrapped up in fantasies. Too down to earth. Too friendly. Not friendly enough. Backstabber. Too trusting. Should die. Shouldn't die. Not perfect. Never perfect enough. Never what they want. Always what they want. Fucked up in the head. Abused. Used. Disposable. Indecisive. Fatalistic. Psychotic. Manic-depressive. Bi-polar. Should be on drugs. On not enough drugs. Afraid. Not afraid enough. Just a child. Too much of an adult. Grew up too fast. Didn't grow up fast enough. Not the perfect daughter. Never able to please. Not the perfect grandaughter. Fucked up her life by leaving college. Doesn't know what she wants. What a failure. Wasted our money on her. Failure of the family. Failure among friends. Failure among strangers. Failure among society. Can't support herself. Everyone hates her. No one trusts her. Such a liar. Should've left her to fend for herself. Abandoned her. Wasted our hopes. Will never be what we wish. Will never be happy with her again. Wasted her life at 19. Will never make it up. Such a failure. Can't believe her. How could she do that to us? To us. Pathetic. Doesn't deserve to live. Better off dead. Should be dead. Disown her. Not a part of the family. Never going to be part of the family. Doesn't have a degree. Never will. Pathetic. Failure. Such a failure. So disposible.

There's a reason for this journal even being made. Only friends will be added via comments, otherwise, you're shit outta luck.

Don't expect this journal to ever be happy either. It's the only place I have anymore, so deal.